This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
