I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
