You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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