i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
