Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
