You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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