Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
