Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
