I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
