marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
