Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
