I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
