She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
