We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
