best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
