so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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