I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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