For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
