Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize