bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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