Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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