Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
