I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
