It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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