I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
