did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
