found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
