Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
