I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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