Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
