apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do herpes really smell.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
