just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
