piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
love makes seman taste better
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
