who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
