Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just had sex on a roof
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize