her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
