I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize