I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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