i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize