it hurts more in the daytime
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
