reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
