i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
