I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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