I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
