this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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