I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
