I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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