I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
