we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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