Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
