Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
