Where is the hickey?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
