Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
