So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
