when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize