dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
