If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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