I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize