Just fell off a train. Bad.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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